Someone to live for
by Flyninthetardis
Summary: AU tired of running the doctor decides to end it all.   when he meets a young girl with the same plans, will it be damnation, or salvation?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Rose or the Doctor. Thank god, I probably would have killed it**

**Someone to Live For**

This is it.

The end.

As cliché as it sounds, those were my only thoughts as I sat on top of the isolated roof top.

This old apartment building once housed a slaughter so great, that Hitler's holocaust paled in comparison. It would be a fitting death for one who had lead so many innocents to their death. So, I figured what's a little more blood? These walls had probably developed a taste for it.

Sure we had been victorious, but what was the price?

Thousands of lives lost? An earth so different, I couldn't even recognize it anymore?

I felt the anger rise up in me but Anger at myself for being responsible for the deaths of countless brave souls who followed me to their death. And not only them, but others who may have wanted nothing to do with our cause.

I tried convincing myself that sacrificing their lives was for the best. For the good of mankind. But was the price too high for me to have paid?

If I hadn't hesitated perhaps I could have stopped this from happening. But I did hesitate. And I and failed to defend the earth.

_They_ knew better than to let walk free even after they were victorious. I had been locked up in a prison for political prisoners and they left me there to rot. And Rot I did. For thirty years.

When I broke free, the person I had been had been had been replaced with a colder more callused being. Cold enough to kill the entire British military without batting an eyelash.

I guess I'm grateful that I'd been fatally wounded. The change made me realize the horrible consequences of my decision.

I had no way to repent for my sins. No way but this.

I looked at my ship one last time. No one knew what the TARDIS was; it could stay hidden up here for years without any people see it. Eventually it could die.

I looked at the ground hundreds of feet below and gave a satisfied nod. I doubted even a timelord could survive this fall.

I gave a startled jump when I heard the footsteps behind me, and turned around swiftly to find a girl walking over to the edge. She probably wasn't even aware of my presence.

I was shocked, I knew what she was about to do and something clicked. Why would anyone do that? What could be so wrong in _her_ life that she felt the need to step off this Building? She was young, and from what I could tell, very beautiful. I walked over to her slowly, I didn't want to have her hear me approach and maybe cause her to speed up what she was about to do.

I walked slowly over to her. As I got closer I could see that she had been crying. I didn't even know her but her expression broke my heart. She looked absolutely broken and I felt the urge to just grab her and hug her. To sooth her pain. To let her know that someone was here... That I would listen if she needed to talk. I, for some unknown reason, would do anything to stop her from doing what she planned. Why did I care so much all the sudden? I was just moments away from doing what she was about to do. Now that was the furthest thing from my mind.

I stopped just in time to see her make what I assumed to be her final choice in this life as she stepped a bit closer to the edge. I had to move now or her life was about to be over. Though I couldn't explain it. I couldn't let that happen. So I did the only thing I could think of, and believe me I am sure if I had time it would have come out much better… But for once time was not with me tonight.

"Hey" I said stepping closer to her.

Her head snapped up and her tear stained face looked at me in horror, like she had just been committing some awful crime and had been caught in the middle of the horrid act.

"Do you speak?" I asked trying to do something, anything that would get her to talk to me.

"Yes, I speak, but I am kind of in the middle of something right now, do you mind?" she said flatly.

"Well, you might want to step a little further back. You might fall if you're not careful." What is wrong with me, I thought.

"That was the plan." she said sharply.

"What do you mean that was the plan?" I asked.

"I came up here to fall off a building well more like jump. Look at it however you want."

"Why would you want to do that?" I asked her. Surprised at how forward she was about it.

"Listen, I don't need to be talked out of this. I just need you to leave me and let me get this over with."

"Well don't you think you should talk to someone about it? Anyone, me for example. We could talk. You can jump afterwards if you want. But maybe I can help." I tried my best to get her to talk to me.

"Look, I don't know you, ok. I am not going to just spill my issues on to a stranger. It is my problem and I have already decided how to deal with it." she said without a hint of emotion.

"Well, you know, you could get to know me. You could sit and talk to me for a bit. Maybe it would help. I mean there has to be a better solution then jumping off a building and ending it." I thought about what I just said and felt like such a hypocrite. Before I saw, her I was about to do the same.

I continued, "Nothing can be so bad that you want to end it all. I mean I am sure at one point or another everyone has thought about it but you can't be so far gone to think that this is seriously what you want."

"Furthermore, shit happens, life blows 90 percent of the time. But you have to realize that the 10 percent is worth it. That things get better, and that 10 percent over shadows the 90 percent. Things will get better. They have to. I don't know what has brought you to this but I am willing to help. You may not know me but trust me. Just talk to me, I can help you." It was all I could think to say.

"Ha, you say that like it is the easiest thing in the world. To trust someone I don't even know, to share something so personal with you. I don't even know what trust means anymore. Everyone I have ever trusted has let me down. I am basically dead inside. Nothing more than a shell. And you want me to trust you?" she said with a tone of shock.

"What do you have to lose? I mean, if you're planning on dying anyway, why not give it one more go? Why not just talk to me? I know what you plan on doing, if you still want to do it after our talk, I won't stop you." Clearly I was lying now, for I would stop her at any cost.

"Do you really want to waste your time? You won't change my mind. I have nothing. I have no family, no home, and no friends. I have nothing left. So really there is nothing you can say that will make me change my mind." she tried to explain.

"Well, how about we get some chips, we can talk, anything you want. I-I don't know. Please, I am begging you to trust me. I won't do anything to hurt you; I just want you to not do this tonight. I will help in any way I can. Just give me a chance. If it doesn't work, it doesn't. But at least I tried." I offered.

"Are you kidding me? I don't know anything about you. Hell, you don't even know me. Why would you do this? What if I am some crazy person, which by the way I must be, I am trying to jump off an abandoned building. Why would you even bother? Not to mention. How am I supposed to trust you?" she was trying to give every good reason why what I was offering made no sense.

"Listen; do you know how I saw you? I saw you because "I was sitting up here, finalizing my plans to do what you are about to do. Then I saw you. I saw what you were getting ready to do and I couldn't let you. I know you don't know me and I don't know you. But maybe we could change that. Maybe if I don't jump and you don't jump, we can be there for each other, seeing as we apparently need someone, anyone to talk to. There has to be something we can do to change whatever has brought us to this point. All I am asking is that we try."

"You were about to jump to? Why? And how did you change your mind so fast? Seeing as you are apparently no longer willing to follow through with what you were here for?"

"Look, I was ready to do what you are. But then I saw you. I feel all alone in everything I do. Like no one understands anything about me, no one really knows me. Not even me. I don't even know myself, how pathetic is that? But then I saw you. I saw you about to follow through with my plan. It clicked that there was someone, from the looks of it that was like me. Who looked like they felt like I do. For that moment, I wasn't alone. It felt like if you followed through with what you were about to do then I would, yet again, be alone. So I came to stop you. To see if maybe we could help each other. Please let's try. I am willing to try anything. It has got to be better than the alternative."

She stood there looking at me in silence for a bit, the expression on her face looked like she was having a battle with herself of what to do. So I decided to pull out the big guns.

"See that blue box behind us," I said, pointing to the TARDIS. "It can go anywhere. Any place or time you want. What do you say? Come with me?" I hoped deep down she would agree. I didn't think I could live with myself if I had more innocent blood on my hands.

Finally she spoke.

"I will give you one night. One night to convince me that there is anything worth living for anymore. After that I am done. I swear to god, don't touch me; I have been hurt enough this week and I promised that will only make me jump sooner. Do you understand me?" she said with a bit of force.

"Listen, I am done trying to talk you out of this. You know my offer; you can take it or leave it. Really, I was about to do the same as you, and so now all I want is for us to at least try to see if we can get through this. Who better then someone who knows what you are going through…" she cut me off there.

"You have no idea what I am going through, just as I have no idea what brought you to this same situation. So please, let's not assume that it is anything close to the same thing."

She was a bit pissed now.

"I didn't mean it like that, maybe we should go and we can start talking. So that neither of us assumes anything about each other anymore." My lame attempt at getting her away from this building.

"Fine" She said

"We can go get some food. Talk a little." I offered.

"Alright, let's get this over with. You really shouldn't get your hopes up. There isn't anyway to fix what is wrong with me." She stated sounding sad.

"We will see."

"Rose Tyler."

"Huh,"

Her expression become annoyed. "My name, it's Rose Tyler."

"Oh, right," I grinned, "I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor who?"

"Just the Doctor."

"That's profession, not a name."

"That's all I have."

I opened the doors to the TARDIS.

She had a look of awe on her face when she saw the inside.

"This is a real time machine, isn't it?"

"Yep," my lips curling into my first genuine smile in decades, "This is the TARDIS. _**T**_ime _**A**_nd _**R**_elative _**D**_imensions _**I**_n _**S**_pace. Takes you anywhere and any_when _you want."

She gave me a small smile. I decided to make her smile as often as I could.

"I have a feeling you want get away from here." I said as I manned the controls. "I know just the place."

The TARDIS shook violently sending us both to the floor. I couldn't help it, I laughed.

It was my first laugh in God knows how long. I turned to my new companion, and saw her eyes were glistening with tears. At first I was concerned but then she let out a very loud laugh. I couldn't help but feel relieved; she thought it was amusing too.

"Well," I breathed, "we're here." I brushed a lock of blonde hair out of her face.

She pulled away. "Don't touch me!" she yelled, "Just please don't touch me!"

"I'm sorry."

"Whatever, there's nothing you could do that hasn't already happened to me."

I wondered what she meant by that. What could have happened to her?

I opened the door for her and we walked out into a plain looking room with a large window with the vacant earth in full view.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"Ten million years, in the future," I responded, "Today, the sun expands on the earth. I figured you might want to watch the destruction of the planet that gave you so much pain."

She gave me another small smile before sitting down on a nearby step. I took a seat a good four feet away from her.

"So," I said brightly, "Who goes first?"

Her look suggested that she really did not want to talk about it. So, I spoke.

"I was the leader of the resistance." I began.

Understanding lit up her features.

"I sent countless lives to their deaths. Every time I close my eyes I see their faces. Who could live with that? And then I stopped you, and that brings us here. So that's my reason. Yours?

She mumbled something to quiet for me to hear.

"I'm sorry," I told her, "Could you repeat that?"

"I said, 'I don't want to talk about it'." I shrugged. I never was very good with human emotions.

"Well," I said, "when you're ready, I'll listen."

"Why do you even care?" That's good question. I thought. Why _do_ I care?

I raked my brains until I found the answer. An answer I think I always knew.

"When I saw you, about to die, and I couldn't help but feel that I've met you before. That you were important and shouldn't die. Besides we're really too awesome to die, the world would miss us."

She smiled a little at this.

"Earth death in 10 seconds." Said a cool feminine voice over head.

10

9

8

7

6

5

3

2

1

As we watched the Earth become a glorious mess of dust and rock, I didn't notice her move closer to me.

"So, what happens now?" she asked taking my hand in hers. I didn't understand it, but for some reason it felt right.

"We live."

**TBC?**

**So I thought I'd dabble in the universe of Doctor Who a bit**

**To be honest, It sounded better in my head**

**In fact I'm not sure I'm going continue with this.**

**If enough people give positive feedback, I might consider continuing it.**

**If not oh well, I tried.**

**Sorry I probably killed it for a lot of people with my overly depressed and OOC Doctor and Rose.**

**So please review**

**Please?**


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